But baby, I'm so horny
by Druekee
Summary: A little place where I put my Metalocalypse one-shot porn fics. Multiple pairings, ahoy! (Requests currently BACK ON!.) Currently: Nathan/Pickles, Tony/Pickles, Skwisgaar/Pickles, Magnus/Toki (rape warning!)
1. PicklesNathan: Why Not

"Are ya sure ya want ta do this?" Pickles asked slowly, his fingers gripping around the waistband of Nathan's pants. Shirtless and slightly out of breath from the growing erection in his jeans, Nathan quickly nodded before rocking his head back in embarrassment.

They were higher in the sky than they were supposed to be due to a malfunction that none of Dethklok really cared to figure out and sluts couldn't be travelled up that far. So they were basically trapped in Mordhaus in the middle of the sky without any girls on board. It's been a week but with some booze and overall horniness and boredom Nathan found himself hitting on Pickles without really realizing it. God Pickles had pretty eyes; sparkling and half-lidded from the alcohol they'd been drinking. Nathan couldn't help himself and honestly, Pickles wanted sex just as much.

After a little bit of lame innuendo and rubbing each other through their clothes, they found themselves in their current position, Nathan sitting on the edge of his bed with Pickles crouched between his legs, a tentative look on his face. He didn't want Nathan regretting this in the morning, or at least he didn't want him blaming it all on Pickles. With the nod of approval Pickles started unbuttoning his jeans, the task not being that hard considering how he was only slightly buzzed. Nathan felt pretty awkward though, and to be honest maybe a little self-conscious considering whom he was doing this with, and gently lifted his hips and pulled his pants down. Pickles muttered thanks and started rubbing Nathan's better-seen hard-on similar to the way he would have done himself. After a few more moments of smooth stroking Pickles began to hear little sighs and small grunts from Nathan. He almost chuckled, Nathan just looks like the type of guy that wouldn't talk or anything during sex, he would just grunt and curse.

Pleased with the level of hardness Nathan was currently at, Pickles removed his hands and started pulling down the black briefs Nathan always wore. He pushed the undergarments down to Nathan's thighs before staring at the thick cock in his face. Holy shit this guy has a fat dick. Chuckling slightly, Pickles looked up at Nathan's face and grinned.

"Y'know, I haven't sucked cock in 10 years," he said and watched Nathan laugh slightly and run a hand through his black hair.

"That's more often than I have," he responded and placed a hand on the back of Pickles' neck, pushing his face closer to his needy erection. Pickles smirked before quickly taking in all of Nathan's cock that he could and sucking as hard as possible. The slight gagging feeling was well worth the higher than he expected gasp and moan Nathan let escape in his shocked pleasure.

"Oh god Pickles!" he gasped as said man began bobbing up and down, a hand firmly rested on his lower shaft and the other tightly gripping his inner thigh. Nathan normally would've been frozen in embarrassment after emitting such a girly sound, but Jesus Christ this man knew how to make another man feel good. So he just blushed to the high heavens and gripped the back of Pickles' head harder. And prayed that Pickles wouldn't comment on it.

To Nathan's utmost relief, Pickles never stopped his fantastic actions, but he did tilt his head up slightly to stare erotically into the vocalist's eyes, and also to see what his facial expression was looking like. What Pickles saw was pleasing, and also a complete shock.

Nathan's eyes downcast and lips slightly parted, a line of translucent spit dribbling down his chin, flushed cheeks, and also a shaky moan that emanated from his pretty pink lips were more than satisfying to the redhead with a fat cock in his mouth. Actually, one could say that the sight was quite arousing to said redhead, and he felt his dick twitch in delight. Who would've guessed that Nathan expressed his pleasure so openly?

Opening his mouth wider and willing away his gag reflexes, Pickles gently moved his mouth further down the length of Nathan's cock. Nathan clamped his eyes shut and groaned, feeling his thighs shake at the encasing warmth surrounding his most sensitive part. He was also pretty pent up sexually, and the skill that Pickles possessed was only further spurring on his orgasm. Cursing loudly and biting his lower lips afterwards, Nathan gently tugged on Pickles' hair in warning before thrusting harshly in Pickles' mouth and cumming with a high-pitched moan.

Wincing at the pain of being unexpectedly mouth-fucked, Pickles jerked back after Nathan had came and coughed a little. Panting and smiling slightly to himself, Nathan quietly apologized to Pickles before grabbing his own, still hard, cock between his fist and quickly milking himself until he was sure there wasn't any more cum coming out yet. He was definitely still hard though. He rarely could get off only once and be satisfied.

Standing up and pushing Nathan flat on his back against the bed, Pickles roughly thrust his aching cock into the crook between Nathan's soft thighs and hips. Nathan sighed happily before tilting his hips up, a hand reaching around to grab Pickles' cock to rub their dicks together. Sighing happily at the feeling, Nathan removed one of his hands to pump both lengths at the same time with one hand. Pickles rocked slowly against the other man and smirked slightly to himself. When he was ascending towards his own first orgasm, Pickles stopped, and quietly asked Nathan about where the condoms and lube were. Nathan responded hastily, gesturing towards the bedside table and slowly pumping his own cock all the while.

Stepping back into the bed, Pickles applied the condom to his length and poured a generous amount of lube onto his cock and to the cute little asshole of Nathan. Pickles could hardly imagine how tight the other man would be, probably still a virgin in the backside. With those thoughts in his mind, Pickles quickly began prepping the large man lying before him. Sliding in one finger, Pickles almost choked in surprise. He was loose! This man had either been fucked in the ass on a daily basis or fingered himself every day. Pickles assumed the latter.

Blushing wildly, Nathan quickly averted his gaze and chose to ignore the shocked expression on Pickles' face. He didn't seem disgusted or anything, just surprised. But still. The fact that Pickles pretty much knew how often Nathan fingered himself was enough to put an embarrassed hue to his cheeks.

Figuring that it wouldn't hurt to speed up his preparations, Pickles gently pushed in two fingers and felt around for his prostate, for later use. Hearing a strained "oh fuck yes" from Nathan, Pickles figured that he found it. After a few more seconds of two fingers, Pickles slid in a third and gauged Nathan's reaction. He still appeared pretty nonplussed. The drummer shrugged before pulling his fingers out and slowly sliding his cock in. That was when Nathan finally had a strong reaction, although said reaction was pretty damn positive.

"Fuck, Pickles!" said between a long string of curse words was what Pickles was greeted with when he began quickly thrusting into the beautiful singer sprawled below him. Soon, Nathan's thighs tightly gripped Pickles' hips as he thrust his own hips back up against him, pleased by the way his cock would rub against Pickles' stomach.

This kind of immense pleasure was something Nathan wasn't used to, and he knew he wouldn't last too much longer. He had a bit of an ass fetish, and could usually only cum if he was playing with/fingering himself also. So when he fucked girls, he could last a while since there wasn't much going on with his ass. But now, his favorite spot was being harshly fucked and it was becoming too much all too soon. So he pushed Pickles' head towards his own and started kissing him wildly, hoping the distraction would push back his oncoming orgasm. Luckily, it was working, and Pickles starting becoming more frantic with his own thrusts as well. Hopefully that meant he was close too.

Parting their mouths, Nathan frantically warned Pickles that he was about to cum before arching his back and reaching a hand down to finish himself off. Crying out at the peak of his pleasure, Nathan came onto his own chest and stomach. Above him, Pickles stared at the erotic display and came a few thrusts later, spurred on by the way Nathan's flushed face looked covered in sweat and wearing an expression of pure bliss.

After a few seconds of catching his breath, Pickles pulled out of Nathan and peeled off the condom, tying it and throwing it off the edge of the bed to clean up some other time. He crawled over to lay next to Nathan and stared at the other man with a content expression adorning his face.

"Wow, dat was good," Pickles muttered gently, reaching down to the thin black sheet on Nathan's bed and wrapping it around himself. Nathan only grunted in response but Pickles knew he liked it too.

"Maybe we can try that again sometime," Nathan said quietly and Pickles chuckled before feeling himself begin to fall asleep.

"Yeh."


	2. PicklesTony: Whisky and Sweat

**Pickles/Tony requested by pat4pat :)**

**Note: I'm putting requests on hold for now, as I have finals coming up, but May 24 and on y'all can send me requests again! Actually, you could send them to me now, but I won't get around to them until May 24 onwards. Please put them in the comments or send me a PM. **

Pickles' lips were cherry candy, like some horrible flavored lip-gloss that a 7-year-old girl would use, and sparkled with spit and glitter when Tony parted from them. The luscious sound of Poison blaring from the radio, their running makeup, and horribly tight clothes strewn about the area were the background to Tony's Tuesday night. They were on tour currently, and the bus was cramped and gross, but it was still pretty fun to watch Candy and Snizzy roll in their bunks in discomfort whenever Pickles and Tony would decide to fuck away their afternoons, nights, or sometimes mornings. And it might've been Tuesday, but does it really matter anymore?

Groaning and shifting his hips, Tony began harshly thrusting into the tight, tight crotch of Pickles' pants, feeling the wonderful friction of his fly against his aching cock. The wild redhead beneath him sighed happily, his fingers curling around a bottle of Jack Daniels and carefully taking a swig while lying down. Naturally, the sticky substance dribbled across his chin as well, but in a decidedly attractive manner, his pink tongue darting out to mop up the excess. Tony watched the display with hooded eyes, his lips parted in labored breathing.

"You, uh, wanna take your pants off?" Tony asked, his hips rocking against Pickles' once more before standing up and ripping his hat off and tossing it to the side, his legs shaking slightly as he walked around the bus. Pickles quickly responded affirmatively, reaching down and lifting his hips up to shimmy his ripped leather pants off. Meanwhile, Tony dug around booze bottles and dirty clothes, trying to locate at least one bottle of lube. He was just using one last night, and he honestly had no idea how it could've disappeared like that.

After what felt like eons, he found a bottle, and offhandedly noticed that a Cinderella song was now reverberating throughout the bus. Quickly pushing off his own pants and underpants, he crawled back on top of Pickles' now nude (as he chooses to free-ball on a daily basis) hips. Pouring an excessive amount of lube onto his own cock and Pickles', Tony gently rocked himself forward and rutted against Pickles' cock. Pickles moaned heartily, taking another wet sip of his Jack Daniels before gripping strands of Tony's thick black hair with his free hand and smushing their lips together. Tony was immediately overpowered by the strong essence of whisky and faintly of cherry candy, tonguing his attractive friend passionately as he roughly grinded against Pickles' luxuriously hard dick.

Finding himself reaching almost the height of his pleasure, Pickles once again grabbed the bottle of whisky before mischievously pouring the entire bottle onto his chest, feeling the sticky liquid slide across his skin with every push of his hips against Tony's. Tony let out a high keen, laying his chest down on top of Pickles' and relishing in the wet slickness. Both men became absolutely enamored with the smell of sweet, sticky whisky and sweat and sex, the noisy sounds of metal in the distance, and the absolutely fantastic friction between their bodies. It wasn't long until both men came powerfully, the semen only adding to the literal puddle of various liquids that had accumulated.

"Mm, so how was it?" Pickles asked gruffly, his voice low from the sweet sex and orgasm and body slightly trembling. Tony still lay across his body in a pile of goo, his chest shaking with every breath. Sitting up and looking Pickles in the eye with a knowing smile on his face, Tony responded.

"You know I like it wet."


	3. PicklesSkwisgaar: Fancy Beer

**(As requested by Exotic-Dreams~! Hope ya like it!)**

"Ahh, fucks, Pickle," Skwisgaar moaned out heartily, his lips dripping with sticky, too expensive beer that tasted like piss but made him feel like a pompous, rich bitch. Pickles sat on his knees on the floor before Skwisgaar, his legs horribly uncomfortable in that position, but it was worth it to feel those long fingers curl in his dreadlocks and vulgar groans flood from Skwisgaar's mouth. He was also kinda glad that Skwisgaar had stopped spouting all his terrible dirty talk from earlier; he just wasn't the sex god that everyone made him out to be. And his dirty talk was pretty fucking embarrassing.

"Ah, I ams, I ams… you needs to stops," Skwisgaar said urgently, cursing in Swedish and pushing Pickles' head back ungracefully. He wouldn't allow himself to get that turned on from some little drummer boy. Some stupid, sexy, drummer boy with those little eyebrow piercings that glinted like diamonds and shifted when Pickles scrunched his eyebrows up in concentration. Skwisgaar bit his lower lip in arousal, staring at Pickles' current, confused expression, his lips parted with spit smeared across his chin.

Skwisgaar groaned, standing up from the chair (and making his dick bounce), before kneeing Pickles on the chest so that he fell forward onto his back. Pickles, confused and slightly aroused, stared up at Skwisgaar with wide eyes as he watched Skwisgaar straddle his waist and capture his lips with his own. Pickles could taste the shitty beer on Skwisgaar's tongue and he groaned in annoyance, wishing the brat would drink something better than that. He gently bit Skwisgaar's lip as they parted and Skwisgaar's face contorted in slight pain but he quickly relapsed, smirking a bit before smashing Pickles' cheeks together so that his lips were in an involuntary duck face.

"You thinks you cans do dat, huh? Nopes! Don'ts!" Skwisgaar said before standing up from his previous straddling position and walking back a little, sitting back down on his knees. He did this so that he could grab Pickles' legs easily and throw them over his shoulders, with Pickles' ass and balls right in front of his mouth. It would make rimming the redhead that much simpler. Pickles sighed happily, glad to see that Skwisgaar's idea of punishment involved tortuous levels of pleasure. Or at least that's what he hoped their positions implied.

Luckily for them both, Skwisgaar craned his neck down to get a good swipe with his tongue down on Pickles' asshole. Pickles sighed in delight, his lips parted and eyes half-lidded as he watched Skwisgaar's skilled tongue taste him. Half smiling, Pickles sighed at the lavishing feeling. That sweet, sticky tongue stroking and prodding him at such a deliciously sensitive area that many barely touched at all, and those talented hands gripping his hips and pressing him against the others' body were what drove Pickles to pleasurable insanity. The feeling of that sweet, blonde babe's tongue prodding into his ass was what milked out the naughty, schoolgirl cries from the aging rocker currently sprawled on his back with his ass in the air.

To say that Skwisgaar wasn't completely and utterly aroused by Pickles' noises would be a horrible lie, because he was dripping with pre-cum, his cock red and twitching in delight. He would soon have to take care of himself, but pleasuring others was something that always turned Skwisgaar on. He would indulge himself for a little bit longer.

Pickles, however, was becoming just a little bit too aroused, his cock dripping liquids down his body and hands curling into fists at his sides. He was tempted to just finish himself off but he wanted to see how far he could go before Skwisgaar started working on his front as well. It really wasn't that much longer until Skwisgaar noticed how close Pickles was, and he shifted his position slightly to free a hand, wrapping it around Pickles' cock and jacking him off in time with the pumps of his tongue. Pickles cried out in bliss, screwing his eyes shut and aimlessly thrusting his hips to try to will out the orgasm he knew was fast approaching.

Inwardly chuckling in sadistic delight, Skwisgaar removed his hand from Pickles' crotch and instead starting pressing hard circles into the extremely sensitive skin between his balls and asshole, hoping that Pickles wouldn't do anything and instead squirt cum on his own face. Luckily, Pickles was too far gone to give a shit, and a few seconds later he squirted cum messily onto his chest and face.

Skwisgaar patiently milked him before scooting backwards and repositioning him and Pickles a little bit, so that his uncomfortably hard dick was squished between Pickles' thighs. Gripping his hands tightly around the outer parts of Pickles' thighs, Skwisgaar began quickly thrusting, sighing erotically and staring hotly at Pickles' still panting form below him. Pickles smirked at him saucily, one hand carding through his dreadlocks and another toying with one of his nipples, his chest lightly coated in sweat and cum. Skwisgaar grunted, eyes locked on Pickles' hands as he played with his body, before shutting his eyes and cumming hard, squirting sticky cum onto Pickles' already cum covered torso. He would definitely have to shower after this.

Skwisgaar then let go of Pickles' legs, getting up and lying down next to Pickles on the floor. They would probably remain in that position for the next hour, just laying there and catching their breaths. Maybe even drink some of Skwisgaar's fancy beer that tasted like cat pee and talk about life. But yeah, for right now they'd just lay there. Showers be damned.


	4. MagnusToki: Prisoner

**(Major spoiler alert! If you haven't got to the end of season 4 then I SUGGEST NOT READING THIS. Also, taking requests again! Shoot em at me! And remember, it's always gonna be porn lol.**

**Also: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS RAPE/ NON-CON. You were warned.)**

His bubblegum lips were parted in sweet, sticky arousal. Mouth dripping in a mixture of spit and blood, bright blood that dribbled pink from being mixed with vodka, Toki moaned wantonly, his jaw trembling and head angling back to kiss the older man. He really shouldn't be so turned on from someone who stabbed him in the chest, literally. The wound was fresh, too, still healing. Toki knew that his band mates would rescue him, or at least Charles would, but falling prey to Magnus' advances was something that he lacked control over. It was a mixture of lingering friendship, newfound hatred and betrayal, and even newer attraction. There was something distinctly erotic about the older man, his poise and almost cool way of holding himself was something Toki had found admirable and attractive since the day they met at Rockarooni. All that aside, he was just a total douche bag now, according to Toki.

"How does it feel?" Magnus asked, his good eye staring down at Toki's distinctly obvious erection between his legs. He had fed Toki some vodka through his own mouth earlier, and the alcohol quickly affected Toki, making his face flush and eyes become hazy and unfocused. Toki shrugged his shoulders, a hand reaching down to scratch at his thigh. Magnus growled at the unclear response, pushing Toki down onto his back and ravishing his neck. Toki sighed, shifting his head to give Magnus more skin to lick and bite. Quickly becoming bored, Magnus pushed his hands under and up Toki's shirt, pushing the clothing to Toki's chin, exposing his pert nipples, toned chest, and stomach. Magnus licked his lips, licking along the gap between Toki's boobs before sucking harshly on his nipples, eliciting a low grunt followed by a high moan. Magnus smirked, a hand reaching around to fondle Toki's crotch through his jeans, pleased with the level of hardness he was currently at.

"Magnus," Toki whimpered, one of his hands resting above his eyes, blocking his vision and creating a rather cute image, especially with the visible hard-on that was only concealed by his pants. Magnus smiled fondly at the boy, a hand reaching down to unbutton his pants and pull out his cock, satisfied with the shade of red his tip was and the fine dribbles of pre-cum that dripped from him.

Pushing his pants down the rest of the way, Magnus lifted Toki's hips up and ordered him to sit up and get in the position, he knew which one. After a few seconds of awkward shuffling, Toki was properly in the doggy style position, his knees spread and ass high in the air. Magnus groaned at the image, his eyes raking over the choice specimen before him.

After a few seconds of just looking at the boy, Magnus pushed Toki's hips down to level and unzipped his pants, pulling out his aching dick and positioning it before Toki's pretty pink asshole. He then pushed with all of his might, sliding his dick roughly into the unprepared ass, making Toki scream in pain. Magnus could faintly feel a trickle of blood drip around his dick, but ignored it. Besides, Toki didn't deserve preparation, as he was a prisoner. Next, Magnus began moving roughly, both hands wrapped around Toki's hips, moving the boy in time with his thrusts for his personal optimal pleasure. If Toki got off to it, then good for him. Magnus really could care less if Toki was feeling good or not right now, considering how fantastic his ass felt wrapped around him.

Meanwhile Toki was struggling to accept the fact that being so mercilessly pounded was actually making his peepee go up. And not just go up, but tremble and throb in delight. Toki was starting to near his orgasm, but the gross old man groans from behind him were keeping him from reaching his peak. Which was a pretty good thing, since Magnus appeared to be pretty fucking far from cumming himself. If Toki could time their orgasms together then it's possibly that Magnus won't even notice that Toki came at all. With those thoughts in mind, Toki forcefully willed back his orgasm, gripping the bed sheets below him and squeezing his eyes shut.

After a few minutes, Magnus found his own special spot, or the way Toki's ass would rub him just right, in just the right level of tightness and speed. At this time, Magnus knew he would orgasm soon. Toki groaned happily at the sudden increase in thrusts and desperate old man cries from behind him. This could only mean that Magnus would finish soon, and just in time, considering how uncomfortable it was getting for Toki to hold back. But, he relaxed too soon, and Toki came heartily much before Magus. Magnus chuckled a little bit, surprised at the open way Toki screamed and shook. The way Toki squeezed his ass while coming was what drove Magnus to spilling his hot cum into Toki and making Toki almost gag from the disgusting feeling.

At least it was over though, and Toki merely flopped on his side as Magnus caught his breath and pulled out, wiping off on the bed and tucking himself back in. Toki let out a sigh, pushing a hand through his hair as he gazed ashamedly at Magnus. Magnus smiled at him, a bit sadistically, before slapping his thigh in a decently kind way. He then walked out as if nothing had ever happened, and Toki sighed as he began the process of cleaning himself up, even if it would probably happen again tomorrow, or the next day. He still wanted to be as sanitary as possible. Magnus cum was kind of gross, anyway.


End file.
